


Cold Cold Cold

by subjectives



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29791089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subjectives/pseuds/subjectives
Summary: There’s a new ghost at Hogwarts and he looks like the very alive Remus Lupin. And why is it that only Sirius can see him?Sirius sees a ghost. Things are stirring in Hogwarts. Remus becomes more dear to Sirius than anything else. Things are stirring in Hogwarts. Remus dreams of apologies for something Sirius has not done yet. Things are stirring in Hogwarts. There is latin on the walls. Things are stirring in Hogwarts. James Potter has a new scar on his face. Things are stirring in Hogwarts.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Cold Cold Cold

_**ONE** _

Sirius Black never learned how to say sorry. The House of Black simply found no need for such a lowly word.

However, Sirius found that the phrase _I’m sorry_ was very imperative to a person’s vocabulary and that, without that phrase, many friends would be lost and many lives ruined(namely, the friends and lives of those who refuse to apologize). So, Sirius learned to say I’m sorry in his own convoluted way, because the direct english _I’m_ _sorry_ seemed to shrivel up and die on the way up from his lungs as if there was an odd curse placed on them. _I’m sorry_ felt insincere from Sirius Black. Instead, Sirius said, _mea culpa, mea culpa_. Latin was a language that was rather unapologetic, but from the lips of Sirius Black the words seemed to come from the deepest crevices of the soul. It was unnerving to hear Sirius say such words, because, even with them in his vocabulary, he did not often apologize with meaning. 

Remus Lupin wonders why Sirius is always apologizing in Remus’s dreams. 

“ _Mea_ _culpa_ ,” Sirius pleads, whispering softly. His words come out as soft white breaths in the cold air. There is a blue tone to him, as if this is a sad scene in a film. “ _Mea_ _culpa_ , Remus.” 

Sirius looks younger when he is upset. Tears ran down his face and there was a flood held back by his steel eyes. Every vein in his pale neck was visible and he looked ghastly as if the moonlight had reduced him to a ghost already. Remus did not reply, or rather Dream Remus did not reply. He did not know why Sirius was crying because there was no past or no distant future to this dream. All he knew was that this was the fourth dream of this exact sequence. 

Next, comes Remus’s voice. Only it isn’t his. Because he’s sure he’s the one facing Sirius, though there isn’t a mirror in the dream(isn’t it odd how there are never mirrors in dreams?), but the voice that sounds like him is far away. It says, “You’ve done enough, Sirius.” There is nothing in the voice. It is merely a voice delivering news, like a dull anchor man on the mid-afternoon news who knows no one’s watching. It is hollow and gaunt the way Sirius’s cheeks are. 

The use of their real names suddenly felt so dire, as if there was no room for their friendship here. Merlin only knows what future this dream was predicting, though Remus didn’t think much of divination, but it didn’t look far away. Sirius looked the same he did just that evening when they had been laughing in the common room. The only thing missing was the trace of treacle on his lips.

Sirius falls to his knees in front of Remus and Remus feels like a giant. “ _Mea culpa_ , Remus, _mea culpa_.” His voice cracks like gravel under a boot. Sirius is holding Dream Remus’s hand tightly and Remus cannot feel it, though he sees it clear as day. Remus wonders why he does not forgive Sirius, as he has many times before. Remus wonders what is more unforgivable than the last time. 

After the final apology, Remus startles awake, just as he has every time before. He splits the curtains to his bed just slightly to see Sirius next to him, one arm off the bed and drooling onto his pillow. Remus stares at him, wondering again _what is more unforgivable than last time_. 

Remus is knocked out of his thoughts as Sirius rolls over suddenly onto his back, his leg falling out from under the blanket and his arm folding over his chest. Remus smiles just slightly.

_Dreams are not prophetic_ , Remus reminds himself as he has four times before. _Dreams are not prophetic._

The sliver of the moon visible in the sky is hidden by a cloud as Remus shuts his bed curtains and rubs his feet together as he once again drifts to sleep. _Dreams are not prophetic._


End file.
